If there’s one way to make people dislike you, it’s by naming your baby “Like.”
Have you heard about this absurdity? An Israeli couple actually named their newborn daughter “Like” after the ubiquitous Facebook button bearing the same word. The couple reportedly said they thought the name sounded “short and sweet” as well as “modern and innovative.”
Like, seriously?
Sadly, this isn’t the first contemptible attempt at tech-inspired baby naming. Earlier this year, a family in Egypt named their daughter “Facebook.” The child’s full name is Facebook Ibrahim, which I believe translates roughly to “Hey Kids, Please Taunt Me.”
All joking aside, this terrible trend of Net lingo baby naming has to be stopped. In order to help prevent a future generation filled with names like “Tweet Smith” and “Friend Request Jones,” I’ve come up with 10 reasonable tech-inspired monikers for geeky couples to consider.
Feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments section below. Together, we can save scores of lives from being ruined.
Tech-Inspired Baby Name #1: Perl
It’s a programming language and just one letter off from a classic girl’s name — geeky and reasonable!
Tech-Inspired Baby Name #2: Mac
For the Apple fanboy who’s too unconventional to go with “Steve.”
Tech-Inspired Baby Name #3: Ruby
Another feminine programming win (and way better than “Python“).
Tech-Inspired Baby Name #4: Linus
For open-source lovers and/or Charlie Brown fanatics.
Tech-Inspired Baby Name #5: Ada
A girl named after a programming language named after a woman? That’s synergy, baby.
Tech-Inspired Baby Name #6: Alice
Oddly normal, yet subtly geeky; if someone figures out the origin, you’ll know they’re worthy of admission to your weekly tweetup.
Tech-Inspired Baby Name #7: Json
It’s almost a normal name, and think about it: This kid’s résumé is gonna get noticed in Silicon Valley.
Tech-Inspired Baby Name #8: Page
Web page, Larry Page, take your pick; it’s a perfect choice for any Google-loving family.
Tech-Inspired Baby Name #9: Pascal
Crisp, classy, and efficient.
Tech-Inspired Baby Name #10: PC
Oh, come on: Is it really any worse than JR?
JR Raphael is a PCWorld contributing editor and the creator of the universal “Indifferent” button. You can catch him on Facebook, on Twitter, or at his geek-humor getaway: eSarcasm.com.